On Arrival

I was quite shocked, not quite expecting to see my 1999 work there in front of me as I came in through the gates.

It loomed up, daring those who entered, to take stock, to be ready and aware. Before seeing my 'sculpture', I was a little startled, to see an object that could stand among the trees with such insolence.

Against the heavy grey sky and the green grass, it presented itself as silver. It was  like a day light.

I circled around it as any sensible person would do, who was wary and a little afraid. I was searching for a weakness, by which I might overcome it, so that I might not be daunted by it, but it did not relent.

Seeking combat, I could hope for no better opponent than myself. Could I still match my former self?

From every vantage there was no weakness against which I could pitch my critical eye. 

Well yes, there was perhaps some weakness at the waist, too much a literal memory of the body, but a flaw made it more likeable, vulnerable in its strength.

More and more I find myself having to measure myself against my earlier works.

Have I met my potential? Have I lost my capacity to be more critical? Are the standards worthy of being raised?

For all of this, so good to find an old friend, an old foe, pristine as the day it was finished.